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Off to a Healthy Start

            This month, we will celebrate our six  month mark as pastor and people.  Like a couple who has been married for a few months, we are beginning to learn about each other’s quirks, styles, preferences, and idiosyncrasies.  Knowing this, a pastor friend recently asked me, “Have you been married to your congregation long enough now that you can disagree and still all love each other?”  Hmmm….that got me thinking.

            Back in the September newsletter, my column spoke about the 5 W’s and the H.  It discussed some of the questions before us as we began our shared ministry journey together:

¨ Who are we as a congregation and as a partnership in ministry? 

¨ What will we learn about each other over time? 

¨ Where are our starting points, our glitches, our joys, and our hesitations as we embark on this Holy adventure?

Looking back over the last six months, I think we are doing really well.  We have certainly had our share of transitions – not only pastorally, but in our office and music staff too.  Those bumps in our road helped us take off the rose-colored glasses that are natural with new experiences.  Together, we have weathered and moved beyond a few challenges.

One positive during our journey that has been a significant and positive experience is the Healthy Start process.  As a leadership team, the Council and I have participated in a retreat and evening check-in where initial goals were discussed, developed, and reviewed.  These events were led by Pr. Dale Sollom-Brotherton of the Healthy Start program.  As a result of the Healthy Start process, the Council collaboratively developed a Council behavioral covenant (it is included in this newsletter).  The Executive team - the Council officers and I - have also met with Pr. Dale a few times.  In those meetings, Pastor Dale has shared with us the concept of the Healthy Start triangle which has provided a framework and guide for our budding relationship.  Often, congregations and pastors focus heavily on results; however, in this arrangement, the focus begins at developing relationships and building from there.   This results in a healthy start and as a foundation upon which to build successful shared ministry.

Relationship:  where it all begins: striving for strong, deep, authentic, collaborative, honest, trusting and supportive relationships is essential and needed for all to succeed. 

Roles:  clarifying mutual expectations and asking ourselves if we are clear about each other’s expectations.  Renegotiating our ways of being into a new paradigm for leadership.  Role clarification succeeds when there are healthy relationships between all involved

Rules:  are about how we do what we do, our guidelines (like our recently adopted Council covenant that sets appropriate behavior expectations), how we hold ourselves accountable. 

Results:  a.k.a. goals to attain.  Everyone working on the same priorities and goals, everyone on the same page about where we are going and how we’ll get there.  Working together to accomplish God’s calling to us and God’s mission for our ministry.

As we continue our metaphorical marriage, I pray that we can consistently work to be in a relationship foundation, defined, and anchored by the love of God - a relationship where we indeed can disagree at times yet still love each other.  In many ways, we are already there.  Occasionally, we may find that we need to continue toward that end. At those times, I pray the covenant will guide us all.  Yet in the highs and lows, in the agreements and disagreements, in the small moments and large experiences – always - it is the love and grace of God that guides, empowers, enlightens, and embraces us all.  What a blessing it is to journey together, and what a blessing it is to me to be the pastor of this amazing congregation.  I look forward to many years of relationship-building and shared ministry together.

With deep and abiding love,

Pastor Sandi